Today started out like most Sundays do. I ran through my morning routine. Walked my dog. Ate some breakfast. And then headed out the door to meet up with a good friend at a coffee shop so we could prepare some things for a retreat we’ll be co-guiding together.
As we talked through preparations, I paused when we started to talk about a communication we were going to draft because I felt unsure of myself. Knowing that I was hesitating, she looked directly at me and said, “I’m going to challenge you. You are a great writer. You have so much experience. I trust you. You are enough. Just as you are.” Each sentence ended with an intentional pause. As soon as she said, “you are enough”, I felt the tears well up and couldn’t stop them. She gave me a big hug, allowing me time to feel the feels, and then asked, “Is there something underneath this?”
I was flooded with memories of countless times throughout my life when I haven’t felt good enough. Strong enough. Fast enough. Thin enough. Smart enough. Interesting enough. Pretty enough. Talented enough. Brave enough. I was reminded of all the problems I couldn’t solve. Things I couldn’t fix. People I couldn’t save.
As I’ve grown, I’ve started to rewrite those narratives, but as anyone knows who has tried to do this work…it’s not easy. The stories stack up over time and no matter how hard we try to rewire ourselves, the echoes remain. Trying to get to a place where no situation or person (including yourself) can ever make you feel “not good enough” is quite the task.
The fear of not measuring up can make us want to hide because that’s safer than being seen and judged as not enough. Invisibility becomes our comfort zone. So, in hindsight, it makes sense that putting myself out into the world in the context of this work would have triggered all these past feelings of “not enough-ness”. But I wasn’t prepared for the realization of how strongly those old stories still had a hold on me.
I hope we all have at least one person in our lives who sees the real us and believes in us like my friend did today. They lovingly remind us of who we are in our darkest moments and help us continue to fight through the hard days. I’m so grateful to all the people who have shown up for me when I’ve needed it most.
To wrap up this post, I have a challenge for you. The next time you’re with someone and catch them in a moment when they aren’t feeling like they’re enough, please remind them that they are.
And if you need a little encouragement today, I’ll leave you with this:
No one is you, and that is your power.
Dave Grohl
The world needs YOU. It’s time to come out of hiding and step into your power.
You. Are. Enough.
Follow the Spark 