A dinosaur. A castle. An airplane. A cupcake.
Lying on my back watching the tree branches sway and the clouds drift by, I let my imagination run wild as I found the shapes in them—just like I used to when I was a kid. Walking the trail by my house, I had seen a bench down by the creek which I often pass without a second thought. But on that day, I wanted to try something different. So I laid on the bench for a few minutes and simply enjoyed the moment…while trying not to fixate on the intrusive thoughts that often plague us when we’re attempting to be in the mindful present.
“What will people think if they see a grown woman resting on a bench in the woods looking up the sky?”
“Am I laying in someone’s discarded gum?”
“What if I fall asleep and am late to my next meeting?”
“Am I doing this right?”
To pull myself back to the current moment, I focused on the clouds again—not caring if I “got it right”. If the cupcake-shaped cloud became a pie, what did it matter? Why and when did I become so achievement-based? That also got me thinking about when I started to care if I “got things right”.
I’ve had a few interesting conversations with my inner child lately, and she has been encouraging me to let go. To enjoy for the sake of pleasure and to wander for the sake of delight and genuine curiosity. No achievement needed. Until recently, it was difficult (and sometimes impossible) for me to say the simple phrase, “I deserve good things” without a qualifier. In my head, I would believe I deserved good things, but only if I did ‘xyz’ thing or checked the box on an important goal. To believe that I deserved good things simply for being me was a foreign concept.
If you’re having a hard time believing or saying that to yourself, here’s your reminder: You deserve good things simply for being YOU. If you want to take it a step further, say it to yourself out loud. And if you’d like a bigger challenge, say it out loud to yourself in the mirror. Real talk? I’m still working on that one.
The truth is, when you believe you deserve good things and let your inner child lead the way—beautiful things can happen.
Here are a couple of my recent favorites.
- In the middle of working on a rather long to-do list, the song “Unstoppable” by Sia1 came on. Instead of ignoring it and carrying on, I decided it was time for a dance party. I had a spoon in my hand that I had just taken out of the dishwasher, and I didn’t even stop to put it down. I cranked the volume and tore it up in my kitchen for those 3 minutes–not a care in the world.
- When I was in Spain, I woke up one morning and remembered I had brought back half of a pizza that I couldn’t finish the night before. I could have just gotten ready for the day and saved it for lunch or dinner that night, but I rolled right out of bed and straight to the fridge for some cold pizza for breakfast. Still in my pajamas, I took it out to the balcony and listened to the sounds of the city waking up while I enjoyed every single bite that was left as I basked in the morning sun.
We don’t get to know who we are because we’re not listening.
Keri Smith
Giving ourselves permission to throw out the rule book and look at things with childlike wonder can help us see things from a different perspective. And exploring without expectations or a destination, can help us uncover things within ourselves that may have been hidden…sometimes for a very long time. But as Keri Smith says, if we don’t clear out the noise, “We never get to hear our own inner voice-we don’t develop a relationship with ourselves and our minds. We don’t get to know who we are because we’re not listening.”
As a child, Mister Roger’s Neighborhood was one of my favorite shows to watch for this very reason. He was an adult who wasn’t afraid of being honest with children. In helping us tap into real emotions and not being ashamed of them, he normalized so many of the things that it means to be human. Instead of feeling ashamed of anger or frustration or sadness, he made it okay to feel those things. He gave us permission to dream and imagine and be silly. To be unapologetically US. And to encourage others to do the same. In the wise words of Fred Rogers2, “As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has or ever will have–something inside that is unique to all time. It’s our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.”
I’ll be taking little-kid-Carissa energy into the rest of 2023 and beyond. Watch out world.
We have become experts at filling every spare moment with something to do and entertaining ourselves with all kinds of distractions in those few moments we find “downtime”. Instead of paying attention to the spark within us, we’re bogged down in all the things we think we “should do” and then recovering from the exhaustion by drowning ourselves with various diversions. What if we all channeled our inner children and took 5 minutes a day to go lay down outside somewhere and find shapes in the clouds? If we let ourselves enjoy a slice of cold pizza straight out of the fridge first thing in the morning? If we turned up the volume of one of our favorite songs to an obscene level and danced around the kitchen while waving a large spoon? Or spatula…I’m not here to judge.
Maybe instead of thinking me foolish for lying on a bench looking at the clouds, witnessing my few minutes of cloud-gazing gave someone else permission to honor their inner child. My point? Let’s spend more time leaning into things that light us up. Not only will it bring us joy, but it might be just what someone else needs to see to feel bold enough to do to the same.
Onward, inner 6-year-olds! Now, let’s go name some clouds.
1 If you’re looking for dance-around-your-kitchen song options, here’s a start:
- “Unstoppable” by Sia
- “Shake it Out” by Florence + the Machine
- “Legendary” by Welshly Arms
- “Green Light” by Lorde
- “Now I’m in It” by HAIM
- “Girl on Fire” by Alicia Keys
- “Hello” by Dragonette
- “I A’int Worried” by One Republic
- “Dancing Queen” by ABBA
- “Don’t Go Yet” by Camila Cabello
2 If you haven’t read “I’m Proud of You: My Friendship with Fred Rogers” by Tim Madigan, do it. You won’t regret it.
Follow the Spark 